Breakdown, Build Up

Last week my computer died. It had a series of small strokes (aka shutting itself down) that got worse and worse until finally it just wouldnt turn on at all. I took it to the apple store where they said I could either replace the logic board for SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS, or buy a new computer. Obviously, I got a new computer. I was going to get one anyway in a few months when I go away for law school, so it just came early. (Thanks mom! No need to get me a birthday present.)

Over the weekend, I was down at Vassar enjoying the sun and drinking copious amounts of alcohol with all my 09 lovahs for founders day. It was my first founders day, so that made it even more special. Unfortunately, someone (read: me) spilled a shot of jaegermeister on my cell phone. Whoops. It dried in such a way that the phone was totally fine...except the keyboard didn't work. I could turn it on and see that i had nine new messages, but couldn't click any keys to open messages, dial numbers, or pick up calls. Awk. Ward.

This left me with a few days where I was both computerless and phoneless. Also, one of those days the power went out at my job...bizarre, no? Maybe it was me? I dont know. Anyway, when I first realized I had no phone AND no computer (it took a little while, since I had been drinking continuously since 10am and it was approximately 7pm) I was convinced my life was crumbling to the ground. I was sure that when I got home my cat would have run away, my apartment building would have burned down, and my car would have been stolen.

Luckily, none of these things happened. I also realized that it's kind of liberating to be totally out of reach. Untouchable. I could go anywhere and nobody could track me down. I couldn't even get online to check my email or facebook to find out they were looking for me. I realized that that was the way I lived my life up until age 14, when I got my first cell phone (and shared it with my mom...the only person I ever needed to call). Actually, I was even more connected at 14 than now, since we had a house phone and a house computer. So if I wanted to hang out with my best friend I didn't need to facebook her or bbm her or text her or gchat her...I could just dial her home phone, ask for her when someone answered, and chat.

But at 22, in 2010, with no cell phone or computer...I felt like I had gone rogue. Especially while driving. The freedom of driving your own car, without the attachment of a cell phone that also gets email. A little bit sublime.

Also I got a lot more reading done than I would have otherwise. And that's something that I miss a lot...just sitting down with a book because thats what I would like to do more than anything else. Part of me wishes my priorities hadn't changed. But hey, that's life. I still love books and even if I put one down briefly to watch the newest episode of Glee or Grey's Anatomy, I'll come back to it.

The moral of this story is, it can feel life-destroying when all your technology craps out at once. But savor the feeling, because once your phone starts buzzing and you have the internet at your fingertips, there's no escaping your connections.