Nostalgia

The change in the seasons, coupled with my change of scenery, has got me feeling nostalgic. And because I like lists, I'm going to make a list of the things i miss most. Disclaimer - this is in no particular order.

1. Sunrise on the Hudson River. Rowing in general is something that I miss with a permanent ache. But the crisp September mornings, the promise of a new season, the bright foliage on the banks of the Hudson, and the mist rising off the water as the sun comes up...inexplicable. I miss rowing every single day. the feel of fiberglass under my hands. The distinct shape of a coxswain seat. The blue NK headband strapped tight around my head, hearing my voice echo through the microphone. Working the cox box. Speedcoaches. The clunk...clunk of eight oars in sync. Paying attention to innumerable details, simultaneously. Being part motivational speaker, part instruction manual, and part raging, furious water sprite. Being freezing and miserable, choking on waves of Hudson water. And being absolutely elated when the last power 20 pulls the boat past our rival. Screaming 'bowball!' and knowing how it makes everyone feel inside.

2. Paris. My favorite place in the world, the place I know I will live someday for more than 5 months. Just waking up every morning and knowing I was in Paris made my study abroad experience better than it could have been anywhere else. I love the city. The architecture, the history, the vélibs. The metro. The euro. The food, the wine, the people. (Yes, the people too - on my first day in France several very nice people helped me carry my two HUGE suitcases up various flights of stairs in the metro.) The clothes. Exploring, walking, my neighborhood. Being able to say 'my neighborhood'. Knowing the snail like the back of my hand. My tiny room under the roof and its spectacular view. Speaking French. Getting chased by bums (ok that part maybe I don't miss so much). Living my dream.

3. My best friends from high school. Because we had a comfort level that was through the roof. There are four of us, but one bed? Not a problem. You want some gum? Here's some...out of my mouth. Surprise! We are going to show up at your job and attempt to kidnap you and bring you on a day trip. Speaking of day trips, lets get in the car and go and see what we can find. A Russian orthodox Church? A graveyard? Let's explore. I miss the comfort of being able to wrap myself around them, walk into their houses unannounced, call their moms 'mom', treat their siblings like my siblings, and be as comfortable in their space as they were in mine.

4. My childhood home. The house I grew up in was the spot where all the kids hung out. My mom provided endless ice-pops in the summer and baked goods in the winter. It was only a couple blocks from my high school, and a hub for all my friends who lived a few blocks away in various locations. There was a tree in the backyard that was perfect for climbing and sitting in for hours. My bedroom even had a balcony that would have come in quite handy for sneaking out, had we not moved before I started going to parties.

5. Being in love. This has the potential to be super cheesy, but its true. I'm not talking about having a crush, or sexual tension, or a flirtation, or a random hook-up in a bar in Dublin, or a friend-with-benefits who visits every once in a while. I mean real, heart wrenching love. Where you know the person better than anyone else. You can finish each others sentences. Full conversations are had via eye contact. When you want to constantly be in contact with them, physical or otherwise. Now, my attitude toward love right now is kind of laissez-faire, whatever happens happens. But I do remember the feeling.

6. High school football games. More specifically, cheerleading at high school football games. The chill in the air, the uncomfortable long-sleeved leotards under the uniforms. The shiny, toothbrush-clean sneakers. The feeling of the gravel crunching beneath my feet. Cheering for my friends (and high school boyfriend) out on the field. Stunts. Calling cheers. Bright lights, big crowds, laughter.

Whew...I think that's enough of the nostalgia. I love where I am in my life right now. I love my friends, what I'm doing, where I'm living and how I'm living. There are very few things I would change, and there aren't very many things that I regret. But with change comes the chance to look back and remember.